I think I've cheated here a little as my imagination ran away with me turning a real event into something rather odd, but here goes...
Pick a Pocket
I was sitting staring out of the window of a well known coffee shop chain window. People came and went and still I stared and then, inspiration struck. Two men in a rather inebriated state passed by wearing patriotic wigs, it was St George’s day after all. The local community support officer was looking a little worried as the men were singing rather loudly and there was a lot of swearing, swaying and exposure of beer belly going on.
Our town centre is not used to such behaviour, not even on Friday nights, even the busker has a flute and a laminated sign asking for donations. It wasn’t long before two police cars arrived spilling out a few officers to deal with the situation. The men were drawing a lot of attention, some people hurried by not wanting to get involved, other struggled to conceal a smile and others stood around to watch.
People were mumbling as they passed and as they came in to the coffee shop one word stuck in my mind, ‘clown’. At that moment in my mind that was what the men became, clowns. The police officers were trying to talk to the men, to calm the situation down, when one of them reached into his pocket, panic ensured, police were yelling but the man simply pulled out a banana! Now the police were fearing the worst, they needed to assert their authority and so they arrested the men and then the rest of the pockets were emptied.
First came the clown hooter, just perfect for traversing the high street and scaring unsuspecting people going about their business. Then there was the elasticated red nose, perfect for all those nose pulling antics in the big top. The third thing was the grease paint, red and white ideal for those fiendish and, to me at least, rather scary oversized clown smiles.
The men must have had deep pockets as last, but certainly not least, the police officers recovered a custard pie. I guess that as well as being drunk and disorderly they can add being in charge of an offensive weapon to the charge sheet.
3 days ago